of David Sloan


According to sources close to the matter, satirical news website "The Onion" has plans in the works to write a satirical news article. 

Reports indicate that the upcoming humor piece will be framed as a piece of actual news, though it will not in fact actually report news. "We'll use the cadence, syntax, vernacular and general writing style of a news article, but we'll actually just be saying normal, boring things that people do," one source was quoted as saying. This, according to experts, is called "satire."

A second source confirmed that "We will likely make up quotations to support our satirical argument, and then attribute them to unnamed contributors." He added "This, we've found, is funny." 

The juxtaposition of a mundane life event or typical human habit presented within a news-like environment creates the opportunity to not only lampoon the News Industry itself, but to also make fun of people for doing and/or enjoying things that many Americans may do or enjoy because they are not cool.

"Haha, yeah. I guess that part's a nice perk," said a senior Onion staffer. 

As of press time, a 19 year old graphic design intern was seen laying copy into a visual format which resembled the layout of typical web news content. 

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